Changes Underway

I've decided to start blogging on a much more regular basis. The problem is I decided this right when I have no time. A few weeks ago I traveled to Manta. Then I toured Quito. Next was Montanita. All free time has been used to desperately catch up on my homework. So now I've decided that I really will blog on a more continual basis. The big news is that I may change sites from Blogger to a big more dynamic one that I am designing myself. Or perhaps I'll just have Blogger for posts and then feed these posts directly into my new site which will have all of my multimedia content on it. I've never designed a website before so we'll see how this goes...I'll keep you all informed.

I Ate Brains for Dinner

Lately I have not had the energy, time, or motivation to keep my blog as up to date as I'd like it to be. There has been a going on with Expomodels and I've been struggling to bring my grades to a 90+ average as per my Grandfather's orders. Demands may be a better word here, as if I do not maintain high grades the Grandfather pulls his support quicker than a Democratic in office would pull out of Iraq.

In other news- Rafeal Correa, esteemed President of Ecuador and Defender of the People, has decided that the country will abandon the Dollar and go back to the Sucre within a month. Words fail to express how stupid this move is.

In other more random news- I ate brains for dinner. No, really. Just five minutes ago I ate brain omelet. It wasn't bad, but neither was it good. My firm belief that God intended Man to eat the muscles of animals and nothing else still stands. The whole time I was chewing the brains, this song kept playing in my head and I can't seem to get rid of it, so I will share it will all of you. I'm hoping that this works like The Ring does and after I make you all listen to it I will be free of its terrible grasp.

Falling on Dogs

I have a new friend. She is probably the most innocent person in all of Ecuador and a so sweet you'll get a toothache just talking to her. Text messages from her are always in English and always funny, here's a more recent one, word-for-word, errors and all. She does speak surprisingly good English but...there is definitely room for improvement.

Today is such a horrible day, the bus i had to take didn't stop, an old man yelled me, and i fell on a dog in front of a lot of people! I'm not going to encourage u a lot to this...but have a nice day jaja there's always someone who's worse than u jaja

When I first received this message, I could not stop laughing. How does one fall on a dog? I messaged her back to find out. She replied with this-

I didn't see it! I fell over with someone's leg and that poor animal was in front of me and PLAS!!! No one helped me, everybody was making fun of me =<

In South America words to describe crashing, hitting, or dropping something are different from those used in the United States. I would call them comical. PLAS!!! definitely fits that description as do some others. My favorite, though, is "DOOKETY!". A man may be describing how a car ran over his friend by using this word yet I will still laugh like crazy. I mean, how does any boom, bang, crack, or clank make a sound like "DOOKETY"? Really, I want to know.

On a more serious note, it seems my friend was holding a human leg when she fell. Guess she's not the sweet little bundle of innocence I thought she was.

Tengo Un Gato En Mis Pantelones

I found this funny video and thought I'd share it, as I don't have much time these days to write anything of substance. Exams are over Thursday...if I can just hold on till then... The best part of this video? The guy has a really bad farmer's tan. It makes me laugh. I actually have a friend who, just like the guy in this video, can spit out random phrases in Spanish. He is limited to such words as "gato" and "pantelones" but his combination of these words is truly endless. If he ever finds himself in a Mexican hospital with a rabid cat attacking him from inside his pants, he will be able to explain the situation masterfully.

Daddy's Girl

Today I was on a bus, on the way to meet up with the guys from the modeling agency when I happened to notice a middle-aged overweight woman wearing a tight pink shirt. Now, this is not something out of the ordinary (unfortunately). What turned this slightly amusing scene into a truly hilarious one is when I noticed what the shirt said in plain English- "Daddy's Girl".

Gay as a Handbag Full of Rainbows

Sorry I've been gone so long. A lot has happened since the last time I've written, the most important of which has been my creation of ExpoModels (http://www.expo-models.com/) with my good friend Mickey Lara. It is a modeling agency focused on young men and women who we find work for in advertising, in a nutshell. This also explains why I have not updated recently- between the company and my four intensive classes I don't have time for anything these days. In case you care I've signed up for International Trade, English Composition II, Intro. to Marketing, and Financial Accounting. I was taking Japanese but decided that to continue with it would be suicide. The teacher did not speak English, did not speak Spanish, and couldn't explain anything clearly as a result. The amount of time I would have to invest just to pass that class would have been staggering. I feel sorta bad I had to drop it, though. Japanese has always been a language I've wanted to learn. Watching as many animation and martial arts movies as I do one would think I'd already speak the language fluently. Perhaps I'll take it once I move back to the States.

Now, about ExpoModels, don't worry- I have not invested anything other than time in this enterprise. My position is Vice President and my job is to keep the finances of the company straight and be the Gringo voice of reason. Sometimes my socios (partners) get these crazy, outlandish ideas and I have to smack them back down to earth. The company is a seemingly random collection of people. There's Mickey and I the Mormons, Aldo the flamboyant gay in charge of public relations, Emily in make-up and costumes, Danny the web master, and another Danny who is supposed to be in charge of sponsors but from what I've seen does jack.

The company started with nothing at all, and I really mean nothing. We had no clue what we were doing. We still don't. This is the main reason I have never invested my personal funds in the company. There are a few simple reasons as to why I'm still in the company. I will list them in order of importance and with absolute honesty.

1. Women. It's a freakin modeling agency, there are women everywhere. Getting paid to find and assist beautiful women is an excellent reason to be involved, I think. There are guys in our agency too but I'll let Aldo deal with them. I'm not exaggerating when I say the man is as gay as a handbag full of rainbows.

2. Friendship. My friend Mickey needs me desperately and I'm more than happy to be there for him. This was the reason I even started.

3. Money. To be honest, I do not expect much of this. McDonald's employees here in Ecuador get paid $1.25 an hour, a paltry sum, and indicative of the opportunities to get rich in this country.

4. Last but not least Experience. It is an interesting experience to start up a company in a foreign land and might teach me some tricks that I may employ in my future international company.

Quinceañera

I went to a quinceañera last Friday, and I'd like to share my experience here to educate those who may not have had the chance to go to one. For those of you who do not know, this is a party held to honor a young girl's entry into society as a woman. Corny and boring at times to be true, but also a fun experience.

This particular quinceañera was in a nearby town called Milagro (miracle). The bus ride there would have been much more comfortable had I not been wearing a suit and tie. Thankfully, it wasn't too hot out so I didn't sweat all over my newly dry-cleaned suit, which is a good start to the evening. I arrived only slightly wrinkled at the party right on time, found my friend, and sat down to enjoy the first quinceañera I had ever been to. The location was a beautiful grand hall overflowing with balloons and decorations, a small waterfall with brown stones was on one side of the room and a bar in a corner.

It started much like a wedding, with all the young girl's friends walking into the room as couples. The Quinceañera herself entered last with her boyfriend and all the room stood. Some announcements were made, some words were shared, then some more, then some more. Same as a wedding, lots of "blah blah ever since I have known this girl blah blah a wonderful person blah blah I like cake ect." You know the routine. It was interesting to hear how they were welcoming her into society, though. I find the idea to be amuzing, like if they don't officially welcome her she's not in. It seems they fear she'll try to go out into this indeterminate society and somehow be shunned. Ah well, it's a cute gesture I guess.

Next, all the young kids took the dance floor, and did an exibition dance. It was a waltz. This was slightly surreal, I mean who does the waltz anymore, especialy kids? And a Spanish waltz no less. I am almost certain this was against their will, as it would certainly be against mine. Choosing between dancing the waltz and having to eat an entire cuy by myself, I'd go for the cuy and consider myself lucky. I wish I could prove that they did indeed waltz but at this point the new batteries on my camera died. Having bought them not ten minutes earlier, I was dismayed. The brand of the batteries was Bic. To my knowledge, Bic makes pens, not batteries. I should have known.

A Ricky Martin number came next, the kids were obviously more at ease dancing that one and my ears hurt only slightly less. Some last announcements were made and the floor was opened up to all to dance. Which was great, except we hadn't eaten yet. I was hungry enough to eat the aforementioned cuy. Dinner was not served until one in the morning, after which the party continued until 3, which is just plain nuts in my book. Also just as nuts was the garter tradition. Every single one of the young men had to put a garter on his partner, as high as she would let him. Some of these kids were 13 years old. I mentioned to my friend that my future daugter(s) will not be having a quinceañera until she is twenty. At that time she will wear shorts under her dress, and dinner will be served in the P.M. rather than the absurd hours of the A.M. The veinteañera will soon be the next big thing in America- you saw it here first!

The Quinceañera herself.....awww....

"I like cake."

Me and my friend, she's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.