A Night in Ecuador

A night out with friends is very different here in Ecuador. In the United States one might call up some friends, agree to meet at the local Taco Bell for some quality fake Mexican food*, and perhaps go see a movie afterwards. You know what makes this blithe attitude possible? Cars. Very few of my friends actually own one. You know what else makes it possible? Time. Or rather, the fact that time is regarded as a valuable commodity in the United States and not something to be wasted. If you and all your friends agree to meet at the Chuck E. Cheese's at 8'oclock, everybody is there by 8:30. Here it is quite literally expected that you arrive hours late. "Come to my house at 2" translated into Spanish, and then back into English comes out as "feel free to pass by my house when you feel so inclined, but not before 3". I do not exaggerate.

Thus, I left my house around the time my friend told me she would be starting the movie that we would be watching, knowing full well that nobody else was at her house yet. Taking the bus to the terminal hub, I grabbed a taxi. Now, let me explain that I only have five months here in the city and as there are so many barrios it is impossible for a wayward Gringo such as myself to know them all. I often rely on the taxi drivers to get me to where I need to go. So when the taxi driver told me that yes, he did know how to get to Sauces 9, Manzana 563 I believed him. He lied. We made it as far as 565 before he gave up and told me it had to be around there and then dumped my on the corner.

I spent the next hour wandering around the hills of Sauces 9, which is one of the most dangerous of the Sauces and also one of the more dangerous barrios in the city. I forgot my cardinal rule of finding an address in South America. Ask three people how to get there, then follow what the majority says. Actually, my cardinal rule is to use Mapquest but that doesn't really work down here. I miss my Mapquest. At one point I was talking to a butcher surrounded by rotting meat and he pulls out this old, bloody map of the area. I followed his directions and got lost even deeper inside Sauces 9. Manzana (court) 563 was nowhere to be found, and if the high number is any indication there are a heck of a lot of manzanas around here, all made up of squat concrete buildings that appear to be the same. In neighborhoods like this signs are rarely used. After the fifth local pointed me in a completely opposite direction I gave up and stumbled onto a main street, then called my friend to come get me.

Funny thing is, even though I was an hour late, I was still the first person to arrive. The next three hours waiting for people to show up were spent desperately to understand Ecuador's unique flavor of ghetto Spanish. It was a special kind of hell for me. I'm not anti-social but I've never considered talking for hours to complete strangers a good time.

Unfortunately, the relaxed atmosphere of South America and the propensity for people to show up late lends itself to this sort of activity. People can spend all day, sitting around, chatting about nothing while I slowly lose my mind. In fact, the previous weekend was spent with this same friend's parents with whom I chatted for six straight hours. A better description would be they talked at me and allowed me to listen, but not speak. Turns out Cuba has a thriving economy and Fidel is a pretty OK guy.

So, the moral of the story is buy a car and have loads of free time. Even though I only have one of those two I still enjoyed the night overall. The movie was entertaining and the people good folks. Ironically, the television we used to watch the movie was damaged so the bottom of the screen fuzzed out...meaning nobody could read the subtitles. I was the only one who understood the movie.

*Taco Bell has some of the best food this planet has to offer, don't deny it. My sources tell me that there is a T.B. around here and I am diligently looking for it. The bang for your buck of that place is unmatched- just two fully loaded burritos and you've already exceeded your calorie needs for the entire day! Talk about nutritional value!
And the taste leaves nothing to be desired. A pile of smashed pinto beans, ground beef, and thick cheese, all drowning in fire sauce and tightly wrapped in a flour tortilla? Yes, please! If that description did not make you feel hungry, there is something wrong with you.